Courtship and marriage the Oromo way

At the first annual Cultural, Biodiversity, and Mountain Nyala Festival last December in Dinsho, one of the participating student groups dramatized a traditional Oromo wedding ceremony. It was a lively and vivid celebration with colorful costumes, decorated horses, singing, dancing, wailing, and general mayhem as the crowd of onlookers pressed closer and closer, finally merging with the actors to produce what was probably a true-to-life reenactment. While all of the audience knew what was going on, I barely had a clue. Later, I asked my friend Mustefa to tell me about courtships, engagements, and weddings Oromo style.

He began with a disclaimer: "I will tell you about the traditional Oromo courtship, but today it is different." He emphatically pointed out that today a young man is allowed to pick his own mate. They date, fall in love, and inform their parents of their desire to marry much like we do in our culture.

In former times, the story went something like this: When the groom's family decided it was time for him to take a wife, the older members, including uncles and cousins, selected the most desirable young woman and sent one or two respected elders (not necessarily relatives) to speak to her family. After the preliminary exchange of niceties over coffee, the elders explained they had come to ask them for their daughter for marriage, and her parents politely inquired, "Who wishes to marry her?" After learning the man's name, the parents made a future appointment with the emissaries to give themselves time to discuss the proposal with their own closest relatives.

If the response was positive, the bride's parents asked the groom's family to prepare many things for a gabara (celebration). They also agreed on payment for the wedding such as wayas (hand-loomed heavy cotton blankets) for the uncles of their daughter. The parents usually requested two for themselves. Maybe more.

At the gabara, the groom's family presented clothes and jewelry to the bride to wear on her wedding day, which could be as long as one or two years away. One week before the wedding the bride's family hosted a day of singing, dancing, and eating for relatives of the bride and groom. Sometimes the party lasted until the wedding date. One day before the wedding, the bride drank a tea made from the leaves of the kosso tree (used medicinally to kill tapeworms).

When at last the long-awaited day arrived, the groom's party rode to the bride's home on lavishly decorated horses, including one for the bride; 15-100 relatives and friends accompanied them. The family of the bride greeted them warmly with the expectation of receiving many gifts for the uncles and aunts (the aunts also asked for a gift of money, usually 50-100 birr). In return, they served geunfo (roasted barley or wheat porridge, served with spiced butter and hot pepper), kinche (boiled, coarsely ground wheat mixed with spiced butter), meats, both raw and cooked, and containers of smoke-flavored milk. At some point, the groom's family described the markings of two cows and two calves, which would be given later to the bride (considered to be her own property).

Finally, as the celebration wound down, the groom's side asked to take the bride. This triggered much crying and wailing on the other side. To reassure them, friends of the groom exhorted him to take good care of his wife. The bride mounted her horse (another person rode with her to steady her) and said goodbye to her family as they brought out household items and gifts from guests to send with her-enough flour for one year, butter, spices, honey, other basic food items, pots, mattress, and dried food.

The groom's family and friends welcomed them back at his parent's house. The party started all over and lasted until morning. Probably to recuperate, the following week the bride ate only small amounts of chico (barley flour mixed with butter). After 15 days or so, the newly wed couple moved to their own home.

Except for the arranged part, many weddings are still celebrated in the traditional way throughout the Balé region.

Return to Culture Home Page